He knew when I got paid on Fridays. The money would go straight into my bank account, but he’d make me go to the cashpoint to withdraw it. I worked my butt off all week for that cash, but I never got to keep any of it. It felt like all my hard work was for nothing, like he was just using me so he could go to the pub.
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

Cashpoint

He knew when I got paid on Fridays.

It was routine. The money would go straight into my bank account, but it never stayed there for long.

As soon as I walked through the door, he’d be waiting. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a look that said he wasn’t in the mood for delays. “Cashpoint,” was all he had to say.

I worked my butt off all week for that cash, but I never got to keep any of it.

We’d walk to the machine together, him a step behind me, close enough to remind me there was no other choice. I’d punch in my PIN, hear the mechanical whir of the cash being counted, and pull out the notes, my fingers tight around them.

For a moment, they were mine.

Then they weren’t.

He’d take the money without a second glance, stuffing it into his pocket like it belonged to him. Like I belonged to him.

It felt like all my hard work was for nothing.

Like I was just there to keep his pockets full, to make sure he never went without.

And I knew exactly where it was going. Straight to the pub. To his mates. To rounds of drinks I never got to have.

Some weeks, I’d try to hold onto a little. A few coins in my pocket, a small note tucked into my sock, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He always noticed.

“All of it,” he’d say, holding out his hand. “Don’t piss me about.”

So I gave it to him.

Every time.

And I walked home empty-handed, knowing I’d spend another week working myself to exhaustion, just to do it all over again.

share this story:

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
WhatsApp
Email

More stories

UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

I would run and sit by the river. One day, I’ll be free, one way or another. Somewhere where nobody can hurt me.

Life is just too hard here. I don’t want to be here anymore.

I don’t want to be anywhere anymore.

Read More
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

The bastard made a sign out of cardboard, labeling me with the word ‘SLUT’, and forced me to parade down the street carrying it. I was so mad, humiliated. All because I spoke to another man? I couldn’t believe how cruel he could be.

After that, I was too ashamed to even leave the house. How dare he treat me like that? It was like he was trying to strip away everything. I won’t let him get away with it.

Read More
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

I had this book where I wrote down everything she did, like my own secret diary. But she found it, and she burned it all. All my words, all my proof, gone.

I felt so small, like I couldn’t do anything to stop her or prove what she did.

Read More
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

At first, it was just a bit of harmless fun, just a game we played.

But he started leaving for longer periods. He would go to the pub. I was scared. I dreaded his return and what he might do. I didn’t know what state he would be in.

Sometimes he would bring other men home. To use me for fun or to pay off his debts. I would lay there. I couldn’t run away.

I wanted it to stop. I wanted to die.

Read More
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

I called it my escape fund, tucked away at the back of my wardrobe, hidden behind my clothes. He never bothered to look there.

Any spare change I had went straight into my secret stash.

One day, I’d save up enough to break free, to find my own place away from him.

Read More
UNSEEN ECHOES - Objects of Domestic Abuse | Photography Project & Exhibition

He always come with me to shops, never help, just follow me. He make sure I don’t stop to talk to anyone.

After shop, he watch me struggle with bags, tell me hurry up for TV.

It feel like I can’t do anything without him watching.

Read More
Receive the latest news

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Exhibitions. Project Updates. Stories. Plus More.